The Lawnmower Man

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Rating: ***.5 (three and a half out of five)
Year: 1992

Plot: Poor Jobe. He’s used to be a happy simpleton spending his days mowing lawns and his nights being abused by priests. He wasn’t happy, but he was dumb enough not to realize that he wasn’t happy, so he was. Then the brainy neighbor, made entirely of chest hair and suave, had to come and muck things up for him. The neighbor makes him play virtual reality games that make him as smart as a smart monkey, and then way smarter. Jobe realizes how shitty his life is at about the same time that he gets the power to set people on fire with his mind. This turns out to be a bad combination for the meanies in his life.

Review: This is Flowers for Algernon meets Johnny Mnemonic, but more ridiculous. I do have to admit that I gave it at least a full star just because I love the feel of movies made in this era. I also gave it some leeway for the originality and weirdness of the movie, but I have a lot of complaints. The business that Dr. Angelo worked for was not believable, nor were his ‘experiments’. The 3D sequences showing Jobe getting smarter actually made me dumber for watching them. Fahey also made the mistake in the beginning of the movie that goes directly against the sage advise of Robert Downy Jr. to ‘never go full retard’. All that being said, the characters themselves and interactions between them felt pretty genuine, and the special effects were pretty damn good for their time. Most importantly, it was fun to watch.

Notable scene: When ultra-Jobe takes out a fleet of bad guys by scrambling their molecular makeup with his mega mind.
Gore:            Buckets
Sex/Nudity: Nipples
Scariness:     Screams
Campiness:  Donald Pleasances
Creepiness:  Cellar Doors
Munchy Suggestion: Weird fancy wafer things with chocolate inside from California.
For More: Information than you require about the flick, look here: Wiki or here: IMDB.
31Nights on October 14th, 2013 | File Under 3 Stars, 4 Stars, Biblical, Sci-Fi | 2 Comments -

The Devil’s Rock

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Rating: ***.5 (3.5 out of five)
Year: 2012

Plot: Two allied forces buddies go on a secret mission to a small island occupied by the germans. Their initial task is to simply sabotage an artillery bunker, but when they hear the tortured moans of some woman, the siren song takes them into the bowels of the installation. Inside they find lots of death. And a succubus.

Review: The tone and production design of the film make for a desolate, intimate, and unique experience. The small number of ctors and sets give the movie the feel that it started as a play. I imagine that the movie’s shooting location (New Zealand) forced the interesting decisions to cast no germans or Americans in a WWII film. The plot is strong, as are the suspense and effects. Unfortunately, the best actor in the film is quickly eliminated from it. For me the movie peaked early (when the soldiers first decide to enter the bunker). That being said, it’s definitely worth watching to the end because you’ll spend most of your time having no fucking idea what’s going to happen next. This is a rarity in the genre.

Notable scene: There’s a new kind of torture you’ll find out about in this movie. Hope you’re a fan of thumb wrestling!
Gore:            Buckets
Sex/Nudity: Nipples
Scariness:     Screams
Campiness:  Donald Pleasances
Creepiness:  Cellar Doors
Munchy Suggestion: Garbage cookies.
For More: Information than you require about the flick, look here: Wiki or here: IMDB.
31Nights on October 6th, 2013 | File Under 3 Stars, Demonic, GoreGalore, Supernatural | No Comments -